These Are Almost Done, Hooray!

There was a great article on the Puck Daddy Blog on Yahoo Sports that defended The Guardian Project. It made some good points, including how this venture may help attract new hockey fans and how the target market is not for people who are already hockey fans. It does make sense though, and you have to give the NHL credit for trying new ways of attracting fans and spreading interest in the game. Anyway, time to laugh at the heroes presented in the past week.

I think they made up the powers of The Capital as they went along. He's the Jason Bourne of super heroes, not sure whether or not he has spent his life working as a spy. A giant man-eagle with a 14 foot wingspan, he can blend in anywhere. The creators needed an excuse for him to be able to fit in so why not shape-shifting? He has telescopic sight which makes me believe he is The Flyer's pet and I hope he never cheers a goal when the other heroes are around because his voice can destroy objects and people. Along with The Wild, they need to start being careful around each other of this league will get depleted quickly.

This guy just looks silly. The Red Wing is part transformer, part fighter jet, part formula one racer. For whatever reason, the creators made him resemble a hawk, without realizing the 'Hawks are their biggest rival. They are starting to get too many heroes with the same traits, they have a few too many leaders so I don't know who all the others will  listen to. Especially if The Red Wing and The Blackhawk has two different ideas. I'd hate to choose between them and have to deal with that decision in their layer later on. I have been looking and I do not understand what is going on with his wheels. They look like a bicycle attached to his feet so he must be tripping over a lot. They are also useless because he can fly, they just needed to add something to represent The Motor City so threw that in.

I love throwback and vintage stuff, I really do. But who in their right mind is going to fight a modern day war with weapons from 1857? The Blue Jacket, that's who. His entire body is covered in 19th century weaponry and has the ability to communicate with Civil War generals. He is the first hero with a unique ability, his astral plasma Ohio flag has the ability to "cocoon his victim with the flag, giving the illusion the victim has disappeared when in reality, the victim is temporarily suspended in time." Umm...what?

Good news. The Flame is "completely resistant to heat." Whew! For a minute there there, I was worried a man comprised completely of fire would be unable to take himself. Basically, he's the Human Torch with out the back story and added wings. He likes to ski but I wonder how he's allowed on the mountain a second time after melting all the snow on his first run. Keep him away from The Sabre; he's just another hero whose purpose seems to be to destroy the other Guardians.  

The Star is nothing if not confident, so much in fact that any little idea he comes up with he thinks is original and the greatest thought anyone has ever had. I now people like that. They're called pricks. His catch-phrase is an unoriginal cliche and sounds like something this guy would say. He uses nuclear fusion as a weapon to create something he like to refer to as a "solar flare." Yeah, just him and the thousands of scientists who have studied the sun.

All in all, The Coyote seems like a pretty decent guy for a hobo. This poor man's Wolverine can conjure up spirits who apparently appear in the form of a T-Rex in order to give him advice. To me though, fortune cookie seem like a much less scary way to get some good guidance. He just needs to find some new apparel, dusters should be reserved for one badass, and one badass only. 

Another guy resembling Mr. Freeze, The Avalanche has a real problem with, well, everyone he works with. He not only has a problem has a problem with authority, but he takes meaningless risks "not because he actually believes that he can accomplish the act in question, but simply because he wants to see if it's possible." Just what I'm looking for in a superhero. He can create an avalanche at will, "provided of course that conditions allow for it." Yet another hero who is only useful only under the perfect circumstances. 

Anybody for a glass of whine?

We Americans live in a strange culture. Despite the fact we all know that not every person will get ahead and not everyone will win everything, we do our best to make sure that version of reality is as skewed as possible, especially at a young age. No one fails, no scores are kept, and everyone gets a trophy. My brother's girlfriend Beth teaches young kids and told me over Thanksgiving break that she is not allowed to give her students a grade lower than a 50 or fail them. Even if all they write for an assignment is "Hey teach, you suck," they still can't get lower than half credit and they will pass that class. It seems every youth league either declares every game a tie or just simply doesn't keep score. Well you know what folks, these kids are going to fail at something sometime in their lives. Their high school team won't make it to the championship game, that girl they like won't want to date them, and they will not get that job they want (anyone wanna tell me what that's like? I have no idea). It is definitely better to have them understand this aspect of life early so they can get used to it and learn how to cope with defeat when they get older. Or not.

See, I thought this nonsense was limited to children and that the adults in this country were able to handle disappointment themselves. I was wrong. After an embarrassing 7-2 loss to the Pittsburgh Penguins, a loss that in the dying seconds of a game in which the away team won the crowd was in a frenzy, the Columbus Blue Jackets management threw a hissy fit and instituted a dress code for fans of opposing teams who come to see the games. Apparently, the real travesty here was Penguins fans riding the Zamboni but you have to think they just didn't want their opponents to be cheered, especially after an embarrassing loss. The Blue Jackets have some of the worst attendance numbers in the league, they should just be happy people showed up and not worry that half were there to see the greatest player in the world. Worry about trying to find a center to play with Rick Nash, something they haven't come close to doing yet.

This scenario reminds me a lot of the New England Patriots during their (almost) perfect season a few years ago. So many teams complained about the Pats running up the score on them. Well, if you really don't want them to score, stop them. Quit your bitching, man up to your mistakes, and make sure it doesn't happen again. The Titans did then and the Blue Jackets should now. So here's an idea, instead of wasting their breath trying to keep opposing fans from cheering on their teams, something they have every right to do once they purchase their ticket, try putting a team together that won't lose such an embarrassing game on home ice. Defenses could have shut their mouths and put their energy into stopping Brady and Co., Blue Jackets management should do the same thing here.

So, to the Blue Jackets, get over yourselves and let the fans have their fun. They paid for the over priced tickets and not letting fans (most of which are kids anyway) ride the zamboni because of the sweater they are wearing only teaches them things that are different are bad and you should always get your way.

Offseason Recap-Central Division

Detroit will try to show the Blackhawks they are not yet the best team in the division. The Central Division has a chance to have a few teams make the playoffs next year.


Detroit Red Wings - 2
Key Signings
7/6: LW Drew Miller (re-signed) 1 year
7/7: Patrick Eaves (re-signed) 1 year
7/15: D Derek Meech (re-signed) 1 year
8/4: C Darren Helm (re-signed) 2 years, $1.825 M
8/5: Mike Modano (DAL) 1 year, $1.25 M
8/9: D Ruslan Salei (COL) 1 year
8/23: LW Justin Abdelkader (re-signed) 2 years
Trades
None
Departures
D Brett Lebda (TOR)
RW Jeremy Williams (NYR)
What To Expect
You know you have a good team when 101 points and a fifth place showing is considered an off year. Improved health is going to be the biggest factor this season, as evidence by the lack of any major signings. Jimmy Howard looks to be ready to take control of the crease in Detroit, but look for Chris Osgood to get some starts early as he looks for win number 400.


Chicago Blackhawks - 4
Key Signings
7/12: Nicklas Hjalmarsson (re-signed, offer sheet from SJ matched) 4 years, $14 M
7/28: RW Jack Skille (re-signed) 1 year
7/28: LW Bryan Bickell (re-signed) 3 years
8/2: G Marty Turco (DAL) 1 year, $1.3 M
8/4: C Evan Brophey (re-signed) 1 year
8/24: RW Fernando Pisani
Trades
6/23: 24th overall draft pick (2010), 2nd round draft pick (2010), C Marty Reasoner, LW Jeremy Morin, and RW Joey Crabb from ATL for LW Dustin Byfuglien, D Brent Sopel, LW Ben Eager, and RW Akim Aliu
6/24: 6th round draft pick (2010) from EDM for C Colin Fraser
6/26: RW Jimmy Hayes from TOR for 2nd round draft pick (2010)
6/30: LW Viktor Stalberg, C Phillipe Paradis, and C Chris Di Domenico from TOR for LW Kris Versteeg and LW Bill Sweatt
7/1: D Ivan Vishnevsky and 2nd round draft pick from ATL for LW Andrew Ladd
7/22: F Jeff Taffe from FLA for F Marty Reasoner
Departures
RW Adam Burish (DAL)
C John Madden (MIN)
What To Expect
GM Stan Bowman had as good an offseason as he could have hope for all things considering. He did lose quality players such as Dustin Byfuglien and Kris Versteeg, but he was at least able to get a return on almost every player he lost. They stocked up on draft picks, so they should be able to cheaply support the core that includes Jonathan Toews, Patrick Kane, Marian Hossa, Duncan Keith, and Brent Seabrook supported for a while. There's no reason for the Hawks not to be as dangerous as ever this season.


St. Louis Blues - 8
Key Signings
7/1: C Alex Steen (re-signed)
7/1: C Vladimir Sobotka (BOS)
7/2: F Brad Winchester (re-signed)

7/6: G Jaroslav Halak (MON) 4 years, $14 M

7/6: RW Cam Janssen (re-signed) 1 year

7/6: D Carlo Colaiacovo (re-signed) 2 years

7/15: D Tyson Strachan (re-signed) 1 year

7/16: C T.J. Hensick (COL) 1 year

7/21: LW David Perron (re-signed) 2 years, $4.3 M

8/2: D Eric Johnson (re-signed) 2 years, $5.2 M

8/4: C Dave Scatchard (NAS) 1 year

Trades
6/17: G Jaroslav Halak from MON for F Lars Eller and RW Ian Schultz
6/17: C T.J. Hensick from COL for C Julian Talbot
6/25: 1st round draft pick (2010) from OTT for D David Bolland
6/26: C Vladimir Sobotka from BOS for D David Warsofsky
7/28: F Stefan Della Rouvere from WAS for F D.J. King
Departures
G Chris Mason (ATL)
C Keith Tkachuk
LW Paul Kariya
What To Expect
The Blues season last year should really be considered as growing pains. The youth movement is ready to pay off as the same core returns from last year, one year wiser and better. Add playoff hero Jaroslav Halak and this has the potential to be a dangerous group. There is no one superstar in this group, rather a whole lineup of solid players.


Nashville Predators - 11
Key Signings
7/26: D Rayn Parent (PHI) 2 years, $1.8 M
8/24: RW Patrick Hornqvist (re-signed) 3 years, $9.25 M
Trades
6/19: D Ryan Parent from PHI for D Dan Hamhuis and 7th round draft pick (2011)
6/19: RW Matt Halischuk and 2nd round draft pick (2011) from NJ for C Jason Arnott
6/29: LW Sergei Kostitsyn and future considerations from MON for C Dustin Boyd, G Dan Ellis, and future considerations
Departures
LW Triston Grant (FLA)
D Nolan Yonkman (PHO)
RW Hugh Jessiman (CHI)
C Dave Scatchard (STL)
What To Expect
With Jason Arnott headed back to New Jersey via trade, the Predators are left with few proven goal scorers in the fold. Thirty goal scorer Patrick Hornqvist is back and will need to at least match that amount again for the Predators to have any change of getting back in the playoffs. Ryan Parent comes back to the team that drafted him, bringing playoff experience with him this time. Its hard to believe this team, which finished 18th overall in offense last season, will produce enough goals to get into a playoff spot.


Columbus Blue Jackets - 12
Key Signings
7/1: C Derek MacKenzie (re-signed) 2 years
7/2: D Nathan Guenin (PIT) 1 year
7/13: RW Jared Boll (re-signed) 2 years
7/22: D Grant Clitsome (re-signed) 1 year
7/28: D Anton Stralman (re-signed) 1 year
8/10: RW Michael Blunden (re-signed) 1 year
8/18: RW Ben Guite (NAS) 1 year
Trades
None
Departures
D Nathan Paetsch (FLA)
D Mathieu Roy (TB)
What To Expect
If Steve Mason plays like he did when he was a rookie, the Blue Jackets may have a chance to sneak into the playoffs. Maybe. Like Philadelphia and goalies, Columbus cannot find a quality, long-term number one center. Antoine Vermette and Derek Brassard are good players, but neither can be considered a true number one. They added grit and leadership in Ethan Moreau, but made no other significant moves.

Sources: NHL.com Free Agent Tracker, TSN.ca TradeCentre, The Hockey News Yearbook