Old-Time Hockey, Bar The Door...

Clear the track, its all-out war


Those are the first lines in the Dropkick Murphys' song Time To Go. The song celebrates the experience of going to a Boston Bruins game, as well as the toughness of old-school hockey. Dropkick loves a good party and I'm willing to bet they love a good hockey fight as well. Well, they must have really enjoyed the past week watching hockey as two games, Montreal at Boston on Wednesday and Pittsburgh at Long Island on Friday really were wars that featured a combined 26 goals and 528 PIM. That sounds like two entertaining games and don't get me wrong, the Bruins-Habs game was, but the Isles-Pens game was just an atrocity that Mario Lemieux called a "sideshow."

Like all Original-6 match-ups, game between the Bruins and Habs are always entertaining to watch. They have met 32 times in the playoffs, more than any other two teams in professional sports, with Montreal winning 18 consecutive series between 1946 and 1987. the game in Wednesday featured plenty of emotion that showed just how much of a rivalry this is. This game featured 14 goals, including seven goals in a 6:19 span in the second period. The excitement didn't stop there; this was a fight-filled affair with Tim Thomas and Carey Price continuing the recent trend of goalie scraps with their "fight" at 12:36 of the second period. Seriously, where is Mike Vernon and Patrick Roy, or Ron Hextall when you need them?

Don't get me wrong, I love a good goalie fight, but they are ultimately pointless. They are almost 200 feet away from each other and don't have anything to do with one another, what could they possibly have to fight over? With the Thomas-Price, umm, tickle fight, I think they just felt left out and wanted to join in the fun. As they skated towards each other and even as they were grabbing on to each other, they really didn't want to fight each other. There was only one punch thrown, by Carey Price, and it didn't even hit its target before both went slipping onto the ice. I think giving the two of them fighting majors was generous.

It really was a big game, going into it Montreal was two points behind Boston for the Northeast Division lead and both teams went at it with all the heart and determination they could muster up. With the exception of the goalies (I don't know what the hell happened to them that game, two of the best this season just decided to take a nap I guess) everyone came to play hockey. It was exciting to watch and close the whole game an teams traded goals more than the Sunny gang trade drunken insults.

Hmm...playing hockey. It would have been nice if the Islanders were interested in that at all during their game against the Penguins. All they wanted was revenge. For what? An injury to Rick DiPietro (are they even surprised anymore?) that really was his own stupid fault. Can anybody tell me what he was thinking? He's made of glass, what does he expect to happen when he gets punched in the face?

It was cheap-shots galore during the 9-3 Islanders victory that saw Matt Martin take down Max Talbot from behind, Brooks Orpik hit Michael Gragner from behind into Brent Johnson almost knocking his own goalie out in the process, Trevor Gillies hit Eric Tangradi with an elbow then try to fight the injured player a la Jesse Boulerice, Micheal Haley drop Max Talbot then fly down the ice to take on Brent Johnson (how the refs let that happen I can't figure out), Eric Godard jump off the bench to intercept Haley (for no reason since Johnson was waiting for Haley, its not like he was attacked from behind. Godard also nearly landed a shot on Johnson), Gillies once again trying to get Tangradi to fight after Gillies has been tossed and with Tangradi still injured on the ice, some jackass yelling over Brent Johnson's shoulder at 9:45 of the video (that has nothing to do with anything, he just looks like a moron), Brett Sterling run Kyle Okposo from behind once again right into Johnson, Zenon Konopka punch Talbot when he was already down on the ice.

By the end of the game, not counting goalies, there were nine Islanders and six for the Penguins left who hadn't been ejected. And screw the announcers, the Penguins were just as dirty as the Islanders in this game. They  may not have started it, but they were matching the Islanders blind-side punch for blind-side punch. By my count (though I'm sure I missed some) there were five cheap shots for the Islanders, three for the Penguins. The final result of this "game" was three suspensions and $100,000 worth of fines. Somehow, the Penguins escaped any fines, surprising especially after Islanders GM Garth Snow pointed out no one from the Islanders left the bench to fight (they were fined for not controlling their players. Hey Colin Campbell, explain the Godard situation then). I love fighting, I really do, but this game was just bullshit. It wasn't old-time hockey, it was a bunch of muggings. They were already winning by a large margin (which would not have happened if Sidney Crosby and Evgeni Malkin were healthy, so enjoy the win, you're still one of the worst teams in the league and have been for years), I don't know what they were trying to accomplish.

This game only strengthens my belief that players such as Eric Godard, Zenon Konopka, and Trevor Gillies (seriously dude, that mustache makes you look like a pedophile) should not be in the game. They, along with Jody Shelley, Derek Boogaard, Colton Orr and others have no skill whatsoever, they just make a mockery of this great game. At least Steve Downey, Steve Ott, Brandon Prust, Scott Hartnell, hell, even Sean Avery are capable of playing a shift or two of actual hockey when they need to. Something has to be done. Hopefully stiff fines and suspensions will deter teams from employing players of that caliber. But since the discipline system is just as messed up as that Isles-Pens game, I doubt that will happen anytime soon.

The Next Seven Guardians

As you could have guessed, I am not the only one who is critical of The Guardian Project. This article on Bleacher Report addresses just how dumb of an idea this is, NBC Sports did as well. Let's get started on the most recent seven "heroes" revealed.

The creators of The Guardian Project are keeping up with the trend of ripping off known characters; The Wild  just takes after Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde. Half the time he's an intellectual, the other half a raging maniac. He becomes so crazy that he "chains himself up at night so as not to cause any unnecessary mayhem." Does anyone else see a problem with this? Let's skip the fact that if he is chaining himself up he either a) has to keep the key near him for when he wakes up so he should be able to get out when he goes crazy, or b) he tosses the key away and can't get out the next morning. He has incinerators on his hands and can tunnel through the earth! I don't think it would be too much trouble to break through a chain. And let's hope he never gives a fellow super hero a pat on the back or we will only have 29 mutant freaks to fight crime. By the way, I can't wait to see what kind of brilliant criminal mastermind they come up with for these guys to fight. 

The Lightning has the ability to control lighting (wow, who would have seen that one coming?). And that's pretty much it. Has anyone ever tried to write a paper but the topic was too specific to find adequate information so you just rewrote the same sentence over and over in order to fill the required pages? Well, that's what they did on nhl.com, stating roughly five times in two short paragraphs that he can control lightning. They really couldn't think of any other power to give this guy other than he's a ladies man. I'm sure getting lit up like a Christmas Tree is exactly what girls are going for these days.

This is just an unfortunate case of a guy with zero confidence. The Predator can spit radioactive plasma and can rip through steel like paper, yet he still sees himself as an underdog. And why exactly, the underdog he is, does he always volunteer first for any mission? Do the other heroes get annoyed at him for always asking to go first like that nerd in school everyone always made fun of? Hey Wild, give him a high five and you won't have to deal with this suck up anymore.

The exact opposite of his Predator brethren, The Shark only works when he feels like it. It's strange not for him to be the kiss-ass, seeing as he is the computer geek of the group (and we all know how great computers and salt water mix together). He can also control sharks to help him on a mission, if only a certain small-town sheriff didn't keep killing all his allies (damn you Chief Brody! he only ever wanted to help!). Hey, sometime you just need to do bad things in order to infiltrate the bad guys and dismantle their operation from the inside out. Ever see The Departed? Like that but with sharks.

Another Guardian who is just a big kid, The Bruin is also another Guardian who is very intelligent. The creators have now gone beyond ripping of current, established super heroes, they're just ripping off the other guardians they have already created themselves.   He has the ability to smell crime which, as any Sunny in Philly fan can tell you, has already been done. So this guy has the uncanny ability to track prey really well and scare people with nothing but his roar. Soo...basically he's a bear.

Ok, The Canuck is just Batman with a whale motif. Here is yet another guy who can control the weather except he can "fashion the resulting downpour into any number of offensive or defensive weapons," which is great if he's fighting the Wicked Witch of the West. He can also summon his whale friends to help him out when necessary. I hope he and The Shark never work together; having all the sharks eat all the whales might make for some awkward moments around their base. 

Give Ironman a new paint job and you have The Canadien. He has jets in his boots, along with ice skates and roller blades so he can get around. Uhh...can't he, you know, fly? He can take any power he wishes from any of the other Guardians and makes them all better at what they do. I bet The Leaf secretly loathes him. What he have here is another ladies man, some one rich in culture (and French culture, come on!) who believes he's the best at everything. I know people like that. They're called pricks.

Offseason Recap-Northeast Division

Continuing with the Eastern Conference, here is a look at the Northeast Division. I should be able to continue the Offseason Recaps once a day, with the possible exception of Wednesday as I have to drive back to school. Woo-hoo! (not)


Boston Bruins - 3
Key Signings
7/1: LW Daniel Paille (re-signed) 2 years
7/1: F Jeremy Reich (NYI) 1 year
7/9: D Mark Stuart (re-signed) 1 year
7/15: C Gregory Campbell (FLA) 2 years
7/30: RW Blake Wheeler (re-signed) 1 year, $2.2 M
Trades
6/22: RW Nathan Horton and C Gregory Campbell from FLA for D Dennis Wideman, 15th overall draft pick (2010), and 3rd round draft pick (2011)
6/26: D David Warsofsky from STL for C Vladimir Sabotka
Departures
RW Miroslav Satan
C Steve Begin
What To Expect
GM Peter Chiarelli didn't make too many moves this summer, opting instead to let the team benefit from a healthy core and experienced Tuukka Rask. The defense is largely the same except for the departure of Dennis Wideman who was shipped to Florida to bring in Nathan Horton. Horton brings 30 goal potential to the goal-starved Bruins and helps give them four solid forward lines. Marc Savard should be healthy after missing half of last season with a concussion and other various injuries. The Bruins are clearly a different team with him in the lineup.


Buffalo Sabres - 6
Key Signings
7/1: D Jordan Leopold (PIT) 3 years
7/2: C Cody McCormick (re-signed)
7/7: C Rob Niedermayer (NJ) 1 year
7/7: G Patrick Lalime (re-signed) 1 year
7/7: D Mike Weber (re-signed) 1 year
7/21: RW Patrick Kaleta (re-signed) 2 years
7/29: Tim Kennedy (re-signed) 1 year, $1 M
8/3: Shaone Morrison (WAS) 2 years
8/5: Marc-Andre Gragnani (re-signed) 1 year
8/26: Colin Stuart (CAL) 1 year
Trades
Departures
D Toni Lydman (ANA)
D Henrik Tallinder (NJ)
LW Raffi Torres
C Adam Mair
What To Expect
Not a whole lot has changed in Buffalo as most of GM Darcy Regier's moves were re-signings. Rob Niedermayer adds depth and toughness down the middle and Jordon Leopold was brought in to replace Henrik Tallinder who opted to go with the Devils. Unless Thomas Vanek regains his 40 goal form, they will once again live and die by Ryan Miller. Actually, come to think of it, they will anyway.

Montreal Canadiens - 9

Key Signings

7/1: G Alex Auld (NYR) 

7/13: RW Maxim Lapierre (re-signed) 1 year

7/13: Mathieu Carle (re-signed) 1 year

7/31: D Alexandre Picard (CAR) 1 year

Trades

6/17: C Lars Eller and RW Ian Schultz from STL for G Jaroslav Halak

6/29: C Dustin Boyd, G Dan Ellis, and future considerations from NAS for RW Sergei Kostitsyn and future considerations

8/16: G Karri Ramo from TB for G Cedrick Desjardins

Departures

C Dominik Moore (TB)

C Glen Metropolit 

D Marc-Andre Bergeron

What To Expect

Except for a surprising first place finish two seasons ago, they Canadiens are always a team  on the edge of the playoff race. GM Pierre Gauthier will fill holes from within the organization. The only major move was the trade of playoff hero Jaroslav Halak to St. Louis. That leaves Carey Price to finally live up to the expectations of being picked 5th overall in 2005. P.K. Subban showed plenty of potential in the playoffs last season and will get the chance to prove himself over the course of a full NHL season. He will most likely quarterback the powerplay, a position left available by the departure of Marc-Andre Bergeron. 

Ottawa Senators - 10
Key Signings
7/1: D Sergei Gonchar (PIT) 3 years, $16.5 M
7/1: C Jesse Winchester (re-signed)
7/13: D Derek Smith (re-signed) 1 year
7/21: LW Nick Foligno (re-signed) 2 years
7/29: C Peter Regin (re-signed) 2 years
7/30: D Chris Campoli (re-signed) 1 year
8/4: RW Francis Lessard (PHO) 1 year
8/4: D David Hale (TB) 1 year
Trades
6/25: D David Runbland from STL for 1st round draft pick (2010)
Departures
D Anton Volchenkov (NJ)
C Matt Cullen (MIN)
D Andy Sutton (ANA)
RW Jonathan Cheechoo
What To Expect
Standing pat seems to be the trend in the Northeast Division and GM Bryan Murray is no different. Unless Alexei Kovalev can revert to the form he showed in Montreal two seasons ago and Brian Elliot can continue his strong performance from last season while forgetting about the playoffs, this may be a long season in Canada's Capital. Defensive stalwart Anton Volchenkov is gone and was replaced by the aging Sergei Gonchar. He should help a powerplay that finished 20th overall last season but the shot blocking ability and physical intimidation provided by Volchenkov will be sorely missed. That will mean Elliot and Pascal Leclaire will have to be even sharper in goal.


Toronto Maple Leafs - 13
Key Signings
7/1: RW Colby Armstrong (ATL) 3 years, $9 M
7/2: F Nikolai Kulemin (re-signed) 2 years
7/7: Brett Lebda (DET) 2 years
8/28: LW Clarke MacArthur 1 year
Trades
6/26: RW Mike Brown from ANA for 5th round draft pick (2010)
6/26: 2nd round draft pick (2010) from CHI for RW Jimmy Hayes
6/30: LW Kris Versteeg and LW Bill Sweatt from CHI for LW Viktor Stalberg, C Phillipe Paradis, and C Chris DiDomenico
8/27: D Matt Lashoff from TB for F Alex Berry and F Stefano Giliati
Departures
C Wayne Primeau
D Garnet Exelby
C Jamie Lundmark
What To Expect
The pieces are starting to fall into place for the Leafs as last season GM Brian Burke acquired sniper Phil Kessel up front, Dion Phaneuf to anchor the defense, and J.S. Giguere to tend goal along with "The Monster" Jonas Gustavsson. Depth defenseman Brett Lebda helps shore up a solid, physical defensive core that will be difficult to score against. Kris Versteeg, who helped bring Chicago back to glory, and Colby Armstrong, who provides plenty of sandpaper and 20 goal potential will certainly help out an offense that finished tied for 25th overall. However, they are still a few pieces away from contending for a playoff spot. Nazem Kadri, the 7th overall draft pick in 2009,  will be given every opportunity to make the team out of training camp this season, but the team still lacks a bona fide top line center.


Sources: NHL.com Free Agent Tracker, TSN.ca TradeCentre, The Hockey News Yearbook