The Next Seven Guardians

As you could have guessed, I am not the only one who is critical of The Guardian Project. This article on Bleacher Report addresses just how dumb of an idea this is, NBC Sports did as well. Let's get started on the most recent seven "heroes" revealed.

The creators of The Guardian Project are keeping up with the trend of ripping off known characters; The Wild  just takes after Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde. Half the time he's an intellectual, the other half a raging maniac. He becomes so crazy that he "chains himself up at night so as not to cause any unnecessary mayhem." Does anyone else see a problem with this? Let's skip the fact that if he is chaining himself up he either a) has to keep the key near him for when he wakes up so he should be able to get out when he goes crazy, or b) he tosses the key away and can't get out the next morning. He has incinerators on his hands and can tunnel through the earth! I don't think it would be too much trouble to break through a chain. And let's hope he never gives a fellow super hero a pat on the back or we will only have 29 mutant freaks to fight crime. By the way, I can't wait to see what kind of brilliant criminal mastermind they come up with for these guys to fight. 

The Lightning has the ability to control lighting (wow, who would have seen that one coming?). And that's pretty much it. Has anyone ever tried to write a paper but the topic was too specific to find adequate information so you just rewrote the same sentence over and over in order to fill the required pages? Well, that's what they did on nhl.com, stating roughly five times in two short paragraphs that he can control lightning. They really couldn't think of any other power to give this guy other than he's a ladies man. I'm sure getting lit up like a Christmas Tree is exactly what girls are going for these days.

This is just an unfortunate case of a guy with zero confidence. The Predator can spit radioactive plasma and can rip through steel like paper, yet he still sees himself as an underdog. And why exactly, the underdog he is, does he always volunteer first for any mission? Do the other heroes get annoyed at him for always asking to go first like that nerd in school everyone always made fun of? Hey Wild, give him a high five and you won't have to deal with this suck up anymore.

The exact opposite of his Predator brethren, The Shark only works when he feels like it. It's strange not for him to be the kiss-ass, seeing as he is the computer geek of the group (and we all know how great computers and salt water mix together). He can also control sharks to help him on a mission, if only a certain small-town sheriff didn't keep killing all his allies (damn you Chief Brody! he only ever wanted to help!). Hey, sometime you just need to do bad things in order to infiltrate the bad guys and dismantle their operation from the inside out. Ever see The Departed? Like that but with sharks.

Another Guardian who is just a big kid, The Bruin is also another Guardian who is very intelligent. The creators have now gone beyond ripping of current, established super heroes, they're just ripping off the other guardians they have already created themselves.   He has the ability to smell crime which, as any Sunny in Philly fan can tell you, has already been done. So this guy has the uncanny ability to track prey really well and scare people with nothing but his roar. Soo...basically he's a bear.

Ok, The Canuck is just Batman with a whale motif. Here is yet another guy who can control the weather except he can "fashion the resulting downpour into any number of offensive or defensive weapons," which is great if he's fighting the Wicked Witch of the West. He can also summon his whale friends to help him out when necessary. I hope he and The Shark never work together; having all the sharks eat all the whales might make for some awkward moments around their base. 

Give Ironman a new paint job and you have The Canadien. He has jets in his boots, along with ice skates and roller blades so he can get around. Uhh...can't he, you know, fly? He can take any power he wishes from any of the other Guardians and makes them all better at what they do. I bet The Leaf secretly loathes him. What he have here is another ladies man, some one rich in culture (and French culture, come on!) who believes he's the best at everything. I know people like that. They're called pricks.

The Hockey News Internship

OK so, for those of you who don't know, the whole purpose of this blog is to get used to writing about hockey, mainly for the purpose of sending it to The Hockey News as I try and get an internship with them. About that...

So I sent Jason Kay (the editor of THN) an email last week and he responded by saying he would pass along my email to Edward Fraser. About a half hour later there was an email in my inbox that simply read:

Hey Tim. Glad to hear you’ll be joining the team. What exact date did you want to start and for how long?

So there you have it; the newest member of The Hockey News is yours truly.

I know its been a while since I posted anything, the crappy internet service at my school combined with all the work I have to get done for Thesis is making it rather difficult to find time to work on this. I still need to raise my GPA slightly (I have a 2.47 and need a 2.5) in order to be allowed to do this internship next semester. Its not much but I will be making absolutely sure there is nothing that will get in my way of this opportunity.

So, anyone who doesn't know the whole story, here is what happened. Lou Lamoriello, the GM of the New Jersey Devils, decided to show appreciation to the season ticket holders by offering prizes a few years ago. One of them was a trip to see a hockey game at the 2010 Vancouver Olympic Games, which my mom won on the day of my 20th birthday. any one who knows me well would know that the one thing I have always wanted to do was see an Olympic hockey game in Canada, and here I am being handed this opportunity by a man whose purpose in life seemed to be to frustrate the hell out of Philadelphia Flyers fans.

So, after a year of trying to figure out what games we (my mom, dad, and brother Nick) wanted to go to, what other events to see, and preparing for a very cold week (which never came, seriously, Vancouver in the winter was nicer than Mass in March), there I am at the Olympics. We saw curling the first day, which was surprisingly entertaining by the way, then on the second day the hockey games started. The first game was Russia vs the Czech Republic, which to most was highlighted by Alex Ovechkin obliterating Jaromir Jagr. That was nothing compared to what happened during the fist intermission.

There I am, standing around just enjoying the atmosphere when I look to my left  and, after a double take, notice that Ken Campbell is standing right next me me. Now I saw plenty of famous people at these games, hell the pairs figure skating gold medalists stayed in the hotel room right next to me, and he is the one person I went and talked to. There was on way I was going to blow this chance to meet an established writer and get my name in the inner circle of the hockey world. I found out in an article he write a few days later that the only reason he was there was because one of his childhood friends just happened to be working the scoreboard that game.

Anyway, we're talking about hockey and I mention that I am looking for an internship and my dream job is to work for The Hockey News. He tells me to get in touch with Jason Kay and ask him about it. I don't think I have ever put more though into anything as I did in the letter I sent him, I must have revised it 10 times at least. I hear back from him and, as if that wasn't good enough, he asked me to send him some sample articles, which I did as soon as I got back to school (after watching the gold medal game of course). Fast forward a week or two to Spring Break.

I was expecting this, but it was still a shock when Jason Kay gave me a call one day. We talked for about 15 minutes; about the Olympics, my background in hockey, and what I would be doing if I happened to get this internship with them. He told me to get in contact with him again in the fall and that brings us to right now. I really wish I could describe to you all what this feels like, but those words just haven't been invented yet. Somehow, wicked stoked just doesn't quite cover it.

On a completely unrelated note, the Minnesota Wild's sellout streak has come to an end. Does this strike anyone else as odd? Do preseason games really count for that statistic? I don't think the streak should be stopped because of a meaningless exhibition game. Minnesota may be the State of Hockey, but I think Wild fans may have something better to do on a Wednesday night than watch a bunch a skaters who may not even be on the roster once the season begins and the games actually mean something. If they fail to sellout then, by all mean the streak is over, but for now one of the most passionate fanbases in all of sports still has a sellout streak of 409 games and counting.

Offseason Recap-Northwest Division

Beginning the Western Conference, here is a look at the Northwest Division.


Vancouver Canucks - 1
Key Signings
7/1: C Manny Malhotra (SJ) 3 years
7/1: C Joel Perrault (PHO) 1 year
7/1: LW Jeff Tambellini (NYI)
7/1: D Dan Hamhuis (NAS) 6 years
7/12: G Tyler Weiman (COL)
7/12: C Alexandre Bolduc (re-signed)
7/12: LW Tanner Glass (re-signed)
7/12: D Shane O'Brien (re-signed)
7/22: R Jannik Hansen (re-signed)
7/26: LW Mason Raymond (re-signed)
8/25: LW Raffi Torres (BUF)
Trades
6/25:D Keith Ballard and RW Victor Oreskovich from FLA for RW Steve Bernier, RW Michael Grabner, and 1st round draft pick (2010)
Departures
G Andrew Raycroft (DAL)
C Pavol Demitra (KHL, Yaroslavl)
D Willie Mitchell
C Kyle Wellwood
D Brad Lukowich
What To Expect
The city that saw gold last year will be expecting silver this season.Not much has changed on the front lines. Manny Malhotra and Raffi Torres will combine to add plenty of grit. An already solid defensive core was made stronger, despite the loss of shutdown specialist Willie Mitchell. Dan Hamhuis and Keith Ballard are new in town and combine with Christian Ehrhoff, Alexander Edler, Sami Salo, and Kevin Bieksa to form a solid defensive group. The move most likely to help the Canucks however, may be Dustin Byfuglien heading to the Eastern Conference and away from Luongo's crease.

Colorado Avalanche - 7
Key Signings
7/2: D Kyle Quincy (re-signed) 2 years
7/2: LW Daniel Winnik (PHO) 2 years
7/7: LW Brandon Yip (re-signed) 2 years
Trades
6/17: LW Julian Talbot from STL for C TJ Hensick
6/26: LW Daniel Winnik from PHO for 4th round draft pick (2012)
Departures
D Brett Clark (TB)
D Brian Fahey (WAS)
G Tyler Weiman (VAN)
RW Brian Willsie (WAS)
LW Chris Durno (TB)
D Ruslan Salei (DET)
RW Marek Svatos
C Stephane Yelle
LW Darcy Tucker
What To Expect
Its up to the young players now in Colorado. If second year players Matt Duchene and Ryan O'Reilly can avoid the sophomore slump and Peter Mueller can get back to his rookie form which showed after being ntraded to Colorado from Phoenix last season, the Avalanche should be able to make the playoff two seasons in a row for the first time since the lockout. There were not many changes from the team that finished last season. Super pest Darcy Tucker and the uber-talented but ultra-frustrating Marek Svatos are gone,


Calgary Flames - 10
Key Signings
7/1: LW Alex Tanguay (TB) 1 year
7/1: C Olli Jokinen (NYR) 2 years $6 M
7/2: RW Tim Jackman (NYI) 2 years
7/2: LW Raitis Ivanans (LA) 2 years
7/17: RW Kris Chucko (re-signed)
7/18: D Matt Pelech (re-signed) 1 year
7/20: LW Brett Sutter (re-signed) 1 year
7/30: D Ian White (re-signed) 1 year
8/11: C Craig Conroy (re-signed) 1 year
Trades
6/30: C Logan MacMillan and 7th round draft pick (2013) from ANA for RW Jason Jaffray and 7th round draft pick (2013)
Departures
LW Eric Nystrom (MIN)
LW Chris Higgins (FLA)
D Brett Palin (NAS)
F Jamal Mayers (SJ)
LW Colin Stuart
LW Nigel Dawes
What To Expect
For a team that boasts one of the best forwards and goalies in the league, the Flames do not seem like a playoff team. GM Darryl Sutter brought Olli Jokinen back to Calgary after already making the right move and getting rid of him at the trade deadline last year. Alex Tanguay has had some of his best seasons in Calgary and with just a one year deal, thats not a bad signing. The defense is the same as it was at the end of last year when they tied for the fifth best goals against average. That really won't matter too much if they continue to struggle to score goals.


Minnesota Wild - 14
Key Signings
7/1: LW Guillaume Latendresse (re-signed) 2 years
7/1: C Matt Cullen (OTT)
7/1: LW Eric Nystrom (CAL) 3 years
7/2: D Drew Bagnall (LA) 1 year
7/2: C Warren Peters (DAL) 2 years
7/8: Robbie Earl (re-signed)
7/14: G Josh Harding (re-signed) 1 year
7/15: G Anton Khudobin (re-signed) 1 year
8/6: C John Madden (CHI) 1 year
Trades
6/21: RW Brad Staubitz from SJ for 5th round draft pick (2010)
Departures
LW Derek Boogaard (NYR)
D John Scott (CHI)
C Andrew Ebbett (PHO)
D Jamie Sifers (MIN)
C Andy Hilbert (NYI)
What To Expect
The new era of hockey in Minnesota didn;t really improve the team's success last season and it doesn;t look to be getting any better. Matt Cullen is a solid signing, he can flirt with 20 goals and play on the special teams, but it will not be nearly enough to help a team that finished in the bottom third in offense. Niklas Backstrom will be a workhorse once again behind a defense that didn't get any better. The State of Hockey looks to in for another long winter.


Edmonton Oilers - 15
Key Signings
7/1: D Kurtis Foster (TB) 2 years, $3.6 M
7/1: C Colin Fraser (CHI) 2 years
7/2: F Steve MacIntyre (FLA) 1 year
7/2: D Jason Strudwick (re-signed) 1 year
7/13: G Devan Dubnyk (re-signed)
7/14: LW J. F. Jacques (re-signed) 1 year
7/15: D Theo Peckham (re-signed) 1 year
7/27: C Gilbert Brule (re-signed) 2 years, $3.7 M
7/31: G Jeff Deslauriers (re-signed) 1 year
8/9: LW Liam Reddox (re-signed) 1 year
8/29: C Sam Gagner (re-signed) 2 years, $4.55 M
Trades
6/24: C Colin Fraser from CHI for 6th round draft pick (2010)
6/26: 2nd round draft pick (2010) from CAR for C Riley Nash
6/30: D Jim Vandermeer from PHO for C Patrick O-Sullivan
Departures
LW Chris Minard (DET)
LW Ethan Moreau (CLB)
RW Fernando Pisani (CHI)
What To Expect
There are benefits to being last overall as Edmonton was awarded the number one overall draft pick and the right to choose Taylor Hall. He will join a young group of forwards trying to prove themselves in the NHL. Sam Gagner and Andrew Cogliano needs to have breakout seasons and Duntin Penner must continue the upward trajectory he showed last season if they wish to improve their 27th ranked offense. Having Ales Hemsky for a full season will certainly help. Nikolai Khabibulin is healthy again as well but has his legal troubles to deal with before thinking about playing goal. Hopefully if the youth movement goes as planned, Edmonton be toiling in the basement much longer.

Sources: NHL.com Free Agent tracker, TSN.ca TradeCentre, The Hockey News Yearbook