The Next Seven Guardians

As you could have guessed, I am not the only one who is critical of The Guardian Project. This article on Bleacher Report addresses just how dumb of an idea this is, NBC Sports did as well. Let's get started on the most recent seven "heroes" revealed.

The creators of The Guardian Project are keeping up with the trend of ripping off known characters; The Wild  just takes after Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde. Half the time he's an intellectual, the other half a raging maniac. He becomes so crazy that he "chains himself up at night so as not to cause any unnecessary mayhem." Does anyone else see a problem with this? Let's skip the fact that if he is chaining himself up he either a) has to keep the key near him for when he wakes up so he should be able to get out when he goes crazy, or b) he tosses the key away and can't get out the next morning. He has incinerators on his hands and can tunnel through the earth! I don't think it would be too much trouble to break through a chain. And let's hope he never gives a fellow super hero a pat on the back or we will only have 29 mutant freaks to fight crime. By the way, I can't wait to see what kind of brilliant criminal mastermind they come up with for these guys to fight. 

The Lightning has the ability to control lighting (wow, who would have seen that one coming?). And that's pretty much it. Has anyone ever tried to write a paper but the topic was too specific to find adequate information so you just rewrote the same sentence over and over in order to fill the required pages? Well, that's what they did on nhl.com, stating roughly five times in two short paragraphs that he can control lightning. They really couldn't think of any other power to give this guy other than he's a ladies man. I'm sure getting lit up like a Christmas Tree is exactly what girls are going for these days.

This is just an unfortunate case of a guy with zero confidence. The Predator can spit radioactive plasma and can rip through steel like paper, yet he still sees himself as an underdog. And why exactly, the underdog he is, does he always volunteer first for any mission? Do the other heroes get annoyed at him for always asking to go first like that nerd in school everyone always made fun of? Hey Wild, give him a high five and you won't have to deal with this suck up anymore.

The exact opposite of his Predator brethren, The Shark only works when he feels like it. It's strange not for him to be the kiss-ass, seeing as he is the computer geek of the group (and we all know how great computers and salt water mix together). He can also control sharks to help him on a mission, if only a certain small-town sheriff didn't keep killing all his allies (damn you Chief Brody! he only ever wanted to help!). Hey, sometime you just need to do bad things in order to infiltrate the bad guys and dismantle their operation from the inside out. Ever see The Departed? Like that but with sharks.

Another Guardian who is just a big kid, The Bruin is also another Guardian who is very intelligent. The creators have now gone beyond ripping of current, established super heroes, they're just ripping off the other guardians they have already created themselves.   He has the ability to smell crime which, as any Sunny in Philly fan can tell you, has already been done. So this guy has the uncanny ability to track prey really well and scare people with nothing but his roar. Soo...basically he's a bear.

Ok, The Canuck is just Batman with a whale motif. Here is yet another guy who can control the weather except he can "fashion the resulting downpour into any number of offensive or defensive weapons," which is great if he's fighting the Wicked Witch of the West. He can also summon his whale friends to help him out when necessary. I hope he and The Shark never work together; having all the sharks eat all the whales might make for some awkward moments around their base. 

Give Ironman a new paint job and you have The Canadien. He has jets in his boots, along with ice skates and roller blades so he can get around. Uhh...can't he, you know, fly? He can take any power he wishes from any of the other Guardians and makes them all better at what they do. I bet The Leaf secretly loathes him. What he have here is another ladies man, some one rich in culture (and French culture, come on!) who believes he's the best at everything. I know people like that. They're called pricks.

Offseason Recap-Pacific Division

The Sharks will continue to be the top team in the division. At least in the regular season.


San Jose Sharks - 3
Key Signings
7/1: G Antero Niittymaki (TB) 2 years
7/31: RW Devin Setoguchi (re-signed) 1 year
8/4: RW Jamal Mayers (CAL)
9/2:  Antti Niemi (CHI) 1 year, $2 M
Trades
6/21: 5th round draft pick (2010) from MIN for RW Brad Staubitz
6/24: D Mike Vernace, LW Brett Sterling, and 7th round draft pick (2010) from ATL for future considerations
Departures
G Evgeni Nabokov (KHL, SKA St. Petersburg)
D Rob Blake (retired)
C Manny Malhotra (VAN)
RW Jed Ortmeyer
What To Expect
Former captain Patrick Marleau and goaltender Evgeni Nabokov have taken the most amount of heat for the Sharks' playoff failures in the past. GM Doug Wilson opted to keep Marleau after a career high 44 goals last season and let Nabokov head back to Russia. HOwever, with the signings of Antero Niittymaki and Antti Niemi should give the Sharks solid goatending. Niittymaki plays better when the crease is being shared and Niemi brings his Stanley Cup winning experience to California. The Sharks did lose a few key players from last season, captain Rob Blake retired and faceoff ace Manny Malhotra headed to Vancouver. This is still a deep lineup and shouldn't slip too far from last season.


Los Angeles Kings - 5
Key Signings
7/17: C Brad Richardson (re-signed) 1 year
7/18: C Marc-Andre Cliche (re-signed) 1 year
7/18: C Trevor Lewis (re-signed) 1 year
7/18: LW Richard Clune (re-signed) 1 year
7/27: LW Alexei Ponikarovsky (PIT) 1 year
Trades
None
Departures
D Sean O'Donnell (PHI)
RW Raitis Ivanans (CAL)
LW Alexander Frolov (NYR)
D Randy Jones (TB)
LW Fredrik Modin
C Jeff Halpern
What To Expect
Other than Alexander Frolov and Sean O'Donnell, the Kings did not lose any significant players from last season. Alexei Ponikarovsky replaces Frolov and while his peak may not be as high, Ponikarovsky offers a much more consistent game. Jonathan Bernier is ready to step into the NHL full time and will challenge Jonathan Quick who set a franchise record for wins with 39 for the starting job. Drew Doughty appears to be ready to own the Norris Trophy for the foreseeable future.


Phoenix Coyotes - 6
Key Signings
7/1: D Derrek Morris (re-signed) 4 years, $11 M
7/1: LW Ray Whitney (CAR) 2 years, $6 M
7/2: C Andrew Ebbett (MIN)
7/26: LW Alexandre Picard (re-signed) 1 year
8/30: RW Lee Stempniak (re-signed) 2 years, $3.8 M
Trades
5/13: 5th round draft pick (2010) from CAR for RW Jared Staal
6/26: 4th round draft pick (2012) from COL for LW Daniel Winnik
6/30: C Patrick O'Sullivan from EDM for D Jim Vandermeer
Departures
D Zbynek Michalek (PIT)
C Joel Perrault (VAN)
LW Stefan Meyer (CAL)
RW Francis Lessard (OTT)
What To Expect
The man they called The Wizard in Carolina is in the desert and Ray Whitney should help improve the 24th ranked offense from last season. His was the only major addition to a team that will once again be scoring by committee. They lost shutdown specialist Zbynek Michalek to Pittsburgh but Vezina finalist Ilya Bryzgalov should be able to keep the damage minimal.


Anaheim Ducks - 9
Key Signings
7/1:D Toni Lydman (BUF) 3 years, $9 M
7/1: C Saku Koivu (re-signed) 2 years, $5 M
7/21: D Danny Syvret (PHI) 1 year
8/2: D Andy Sutton (OTT) 2 years
8/9: RW Teemu Selanne (re-signed) 1 year, $3.25 M
Trades
6/26: 5th round draft pick (2010) from TOR for RW Mike Brown
6/30: RW Jason Jaffray and 7th round draft pick (2013) from CAL for C Logan Man Millan and 7th round draft pick (2013)
7/9: LW Aaron Voros and LW Ryan Hillier from NYR for D Steve Eminger
7/19: LW Thomas Zuborsky from NYR for D Matt McCue
7/30: 3rd round draft pick (2011) from NYI for D James Wisniewski
Departures
D Scott Niedermayer (retired)
G Joey MacDonald (DET)
What To Expect
Defense used to be the power of Anaheim, now a team that was once led by Scott Niedermayer, Chris Pronger, and Francois Beauchemin is now headed by Lubomir Visnovsky, James Wisniewski, and Toni Lydman. Jonas Hiller's job this year may be slightly more difficult than it was for Giguere the past few years. Not much has changed up front as the Ducks may struggle to score after their first line of Bobby Ryan, Ryan Getzlaf, and Corey Perry.


Dallas Stars - 13
Key Signings
7/1: RW Adam Burish (CHI) 2 years, $2.3 M
7/1: G Andrew Raycroft (VAN) 2 years
7/12: C Aaron Gagnon (re-signed) 1 year
7/16: D Brad Lukowich (VAN) 1 year
7/16: D Maxime Fortunus (re-signed) 1 year
7/16: RW Raymond Sawada (re-signed) 1 year
7/23: LW Fabian Brunnstrom (re-signed) 1 year, $675,000
8/26: Nicklas Grossman (re-signed) 2 years, $3.25 M
Trades
None
Departures
C Mike Modano (DET)
G Marty Turco (CHI)
What To Expect
The face of the franchise for 20 seasons, Mike Modano, was let go and headed home to Detroit. With goalie Marty gone as well, the team's chances lie in the hands of oft-injured Kari Lehtonen. GM Joe Nieuwendyk will have a tough time putting a good team together, especially under the tight budget he must adhere to. Whether or not they have a one line attack depends largely on the play of Mike Ribeiro, but even if he has a good season, expect this team to miss the playoffs again while it refinds its identity.

Sources: NHL.com Free Agent Tracker, TSN.ca TradeCentre, The Hockey News Yearbook

So Close To 50

I've had a busy last few days, packing for and going to school. I will continue on the the Western Conference offseason recaps tomorrow night. By the way, if anyone is having a problem with the Twitter Gadget, just right click on the link and open it in a new tab. I'll try and figure out how to fix it. Also, the internet is really slow here and keeps going in and out, hopefully that doesn't affect me too much. In the meantime:

• Chris Chelios has finally retired after playing parts of 26 seasons in the NHL. At age 48, he ranks fourth all-time and first among defensemen with 1651 games played and will go down as one of the toughest, nastiest players to play the game. Since/when he first started playing
• The NHL has gone from 21 teams to 30
• Guy Lafleur and Mats Naslund were the leading scorers for the Canadiens
• Gilbert Perreault was still a dangerous player for the Sabres
• Wayne Gretzky was still beginning to captivate hockey fans
• Mario Lemieux was obliterating records with the Laval Voisins in the QMJHL
• The Islanders were still the powerhouse of the NHL, about to be overtaken by Edmonton
• Scotty Bowman still had four Stanley Cups to win
• Mario Lemieux, Luc Robitaille, Brett Hull, Patrick Roy, Mike Richter, Brian Leetch, Pierre Turgeon, Branden Shanahan, Jeremy Roenick, Rob Blake, Tony Amonte, Pavel Bure, and Olie Kolzig among many others have all come and gone
• Nikolai Khabibulin will appeal his jail sentence from his DUI charge. For the moment, he will be allowed to attend training camp while the appeal process goes through. It is a shame but it just reminds us they are people and make mistakes too. Hopefully this won't put too much of a damper on his season, as he is looking to rebound after suffering a back injury and missing most of last season. The Oilers need him on the ice and playing well if they have any chance of getting out of the basement in the Western Conference. 
• The San Jose Sharks have finally nabbed the Stanley Cup caliber goalie they have been looking for as Antti Niemi signed a 1 year, $2 M contract today. It makes you wonder why he couldn't stay with the hawks as they had a similar offer for him. It goes to show that players these days, especially goalies, should probably take what they can get when its offered because that big payday they're looking for might not come. Along with Antero Niittymaki, the Sharks now have a solid 1a and 1b goaltending tandem.